"Have sex with me?"

This one had messaged me a few times today. He had sent me some lyrics to a song I didn't know (Queen Victoria by Leonard Cohen), and then got snarky when I got confused and asked him to explain. I finally Googled it, then told him off for being snarky. This is the response I got. He has given up all pretence.


so is there any chance you will ever have sex with me based on internet being our first impression and that i find you sexually attractive plus I think one day we will both die but while we are alive we could do anything we liked and have as much fun as we wanted without anyone stopping us even if we would only spoilt it all with having little in common later wouldn't it be worth it


Um, how about no.

This one is from a guy with no profile picture and nothing but the bare minimum on his profile (height, age, etc.)

Him: Hello how are you you in norwich cos if you are i am too if you want to meet up for chat *I don't know about you, but I almost ran out of breath reading that even in my head!*

Me: I don't meet with people I don't know. Also, protip: Grammar and punctuation are such turn-ons.

Him: Plseas meet up with me. Im geniine,chatty(shy at first) honest and romantic
Him: Are you in norwich?

Me: Have you read my profile at all? Sure you're all those things. I still don't meet with anyone I don't know, and I'm even less inclined when you beg and tell me you're "genuine". Surely genuineness is expected, not something that needs to be said?

Him: Im definatly genuine what you see is what you get i dont pretend to be something im not cos i hate people like that.

Me: Again, this is not something that should have to be stated, so I'm less inclined to believe anyone who feels the need to tell me. Anyway, what I see is someone with no photo and a worse grasp of grammar and punctuation than a six-year-old child, not even mentioning the begging to meet up.

I'll keep you updated.