You know the one. Some people can't stand it when you reject them, and they think the way to deal with it is to insult you or your partner. I'm not really sure what they ever hope to achieve: "Oh, well, now that you've told me you don't like him, I guess I'll date you instead"? Anyway, this guy is another from Fetlife. We spoke about three months ago, and during it, I was polite, but made it clear that he was outside of my age range. We had a nice chat, and he ended up ignoring me for whatever reason, and then randomly telling me to add him on Whatsapp, then insulting me when I refused ("oh dear... you sound annoying. Yes, probably best if we don't bother. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx". Like, chill). So anyway, I now have my partners, but only one listed on my profile. Note that this guy does not know me personally, and he's never even spoken to or met my partners. My thoughts in italics, as usual.
Him: You ended up with that drip? XD What are you, an overgrown scene kid? Who uses that face?
Me: Drip? I don't understand
Him: https://www.google.co.uk/search?sourceid=chrome-psy… link to the definition of "drip". Note that it apparently means "a weak and ineffectual person.", which the mentioned partner certainly is not.
Me: Yes dear, I know what a drip is. I just don't understand what you're referring to in relation to me. I call people "dear" when I dislike them
Him: i'm talking about the slender fellow my dear.
Me: You know him?
Him: No, I would't hand around with such a creature :) I really don't get this- he doesn't know the guy, or anything about him
Me: How do you know you wouldn't if you don't know him? What's the problem anyway?
Him: Well, that would be because I am very judgmental :) No problem, just enjoying the chit chat xxxxxxxxxxxxx At this point, I and the partner were reading this together, equal parts amused and confused
Me: I'm really confused right now. Do you have an actual problem with him or are you still sore about rejection?
Him: hahahaha! love it. I don't know him so I don't really have a problem, I just think he looks a bit....unusual. Like seriously, what? You dislike a stranger based on the fact that he looks different to you? You argue and insult me and him based on that? To be rejected would mean that I first had to try, that was not the case my little friend :) Oh, here's the sore spot...
Me (well, partner, because I had given up trying to get sense from this guy): Hey. Afforementioned skinny guy here. Things are pretty good between the three of us. How are your relationships going?
Him (warning: he's gross): Hey skinny guy,
Yeah not so bad thanks, couple of sluts on the side (you know how it is i'm sure). not responding to that- we have no sluts, and we are not sluts
Actually traveled to Dearham to meet a girl who I was chatting to on Fetlife the other day- I ended up facefucking her in the layby which was romantic....being honest though she was a bit of a skank so nothing to be proud of with that escapade.
Prior to that I was seeing some girl who I met off of POF- things went well until I decided to fill the sink full of cold water and semi-drown her whilst dishing out hard anal sex... don't think that was her preference but "hey ho" we must try these things.
Not a huge amount lined up but i'm looking forward to the 13th- i'm traveling to meet another person from FET. Shes into ultra-violent sex which should be fun.
I have a plan to force feed her my piss but don't think it would be appropriate to go into at 11:25 am on a Tuesday.
So it's been a real pleasure conversing with you; however, sadly I must depart (work and all that jazz).
Wishing you both an enjoyable week and do be careful not to break any bones you little love bomb :)
Much love
MHS his username initials
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Seriously, this guy thinks he's such a babe. He makes me cringe.
Me/partner, when we finished laughing: I got engaged last week. It's awesome having a deep and meaningful connection with a person...even better with two. Have fun with your one-off encounters. To clarify: My partners got engaged. They were together before I came along. I am not engaged and do not plan to be... I do plan to buy diamonds, though
Him: Ok princess. Think of all the fun i'm having when she stops making the effort :)
We gave up here, and went to show the other partner. She thought it was strange but funny. Personally, I'd rather think of the connection we have than the sex with strangers he enjoys... Each to their own, but we value emotion more. Why would we stop "making the effort", anyway? These people... I want to knock my head against a wall, but laugh at them at the same time.
Friday 5 September 2014
Wednesday 13 August 2014
ForeignMan
I don't go on OKC very often now, but I did today to respond to a message (a boring one. It just said "Heyy.". Like, what do I say to that? I opted for "Hello."), and then was shown as "online" or "active", and the vultures descended. Here's what I got, from a 29-year-old man from a foreign country (his username was [country's name]Man. How boring can he be?). I'm 20 on Friday, but still. He's too old.
"do you want to talk on skype with me ? it could be an enriching experience for the both of us :)"
By "enriching experience", I expect he meant "mutual masturbation session", or some such joy.
My reply: "Oh yes, I'd love to talk on Skype with a man ten years my senior, who has never spoken to me before or made any effort to get to know me before asking for contact details!"
He then assured me that his intentions were good. Well, great. Don't all the creepers? I should add that my profile states that my upper age limit is 22, and also that I don't give my contact details to strangers. Well, he tried!
"do you want to talk on skype with me ? it could be an enriching experience for the both of us :)"
By "enriching experience", I expect he meant "mutual masturbation session", or some such joy.
My reply: "Oh yes, I'd love to talk on Skype with a man ten years my senior, who has never spoken to me before or made any effort to get to know me before asking for contact details!"
He then assured me that his intentions were good. Well, great. Don't all the creepers? I should add that my profile states that my upper age limit is 22, and also that I don't give my contact details to strangers. Well, he tried!
Thursday 19 June 2014
Some creepers from FetLife
So, FetLife is like Facebook for kinky people, but without Candy Crush. It's social networking, and some people find dates/play partners/love there, but that's not the main aim. That being said, my profile says that I'm vaguely looking for people to be friends with and possibly play with (not very actively as I have enough now, but still). Some people on there are lovely, and I have made some friends. Then, there are the weirdos... Bear in mind that my profile specifies that I want someone aged 18-25, 30 at the very oldest. I'm 19 and prefer people my own age. Still, some people want to try their luck anyway! There is one guy who messages me every time I get online- he actually did just now. Always just "hi". We've had some conversations, but we have nothing in common and he likes to talk about himself, which gets boring after a while, you know. Still, he tries.
I have just counted, and there are 14 "hi" messages from the past week. Dear god.
Anyway, on to the creepers. First, one aged 30 who I'd exchanged about 4 messages with two weeks or so prior to this.
Him: Add me on whatsapp. Im very busy and hardly ever get on here x (see my rant on strangers who use Xs if you haven't already)
Me: I don't have whatsapp- probably a good idea to ask in future. I don't add strangers anyway, especially those who put kisses on their messages. That creeps me out. If you want to talk on here that's fine but I'm not adding you anywhere else.
Him: oh dear... you sound annoying. Yes, probably best if we don't bother.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Please note that he was the one who originally messaged me and seemed interested. Ah well, I feel I'm not missing much!
Creeper #2: A 29 year old man who cannot spell to the level of a six year old.
Him: if ur partner had tied u to the bed, blindfolded u n put ur knickers in ur mouth then spent the afternoon doing watever they wanted to you n u wer hot n wet thn they wispered in ur ear now the ad i put up online has had so many replies soon the door bell will be ringin n then u will b entertaining whoever i let in ... wat wud u do? (does he seriously expect a positive response? I think I strained my eyes with the amount of time I spent staring at this message, willing it to form into words... Also, I think this might be called rape)
Me: Ask them not to omit vowels and punctuation?
Him: i guess thtd kill a fire
Me: No idea on that one. I don't do random role-plays with people I don't know, anyway.
Him: even in yur thinkin mind?
Me: How would I do a role-play in my mind? Surely that's just thinking?
Him: I suppose it is. It would not werk in reality as i already told u the whole thing.. or did i
Me: I'm guessing the rest is just about your little fantasy slave getting fucked by several men. From what I could decipher, that's where it was headed.
Him: It depends if any women answere the ad but i left it up to u
mayb it is just to see what wud happen
Me: The ad? I'm sorry, was your story meant to be an ad for something?
Him: fer yer pussy (I almost choked laughing here)
Me: Uh-huh. Well, mine responds to intelligence and well-thought-out messages, so I'm afraid yours failed.
He stopped making sense after this, if you can call this sense. He amused me.
Creeper #3: 31 year old married man, who was surprisingly polite in rejection. I do not respect cheaters, but it's none of my business. Usually these copypaste messagers are quite rude when rejected, but he was polite, so that's points to him. His message title was "a stunning attraction". I know it, babes.
Him: Hi, i am from the norwich area, have to say you have an amazing body and such an innocent look that it's so much more exciting to find out how naugty you can be! :)
i am 31 years old :( but look younger than i am....29 maybe? :)
i am a cheeky explorer but also very respectful!
i am also naughty, perhaps naughtier than you'd like...i am married....i know thats bad, my wife does not know about my naughty desires......would you be willing to chat and perhaps move things to a physical and fun nature?
i appreciate i don't have any pics on here, obviously it's due to the fact i shouldnt be on here according to my wife!
i've never messaged on here....lets see how this goes...lol
i will understand though if you'd rather i do one! lol (why do people think it's acceptable to put "lol" in lower case letters, and in real conversation? Teenager is not happy!)
Me: Sorry but you're outside of my age range and I don't agree with nonconsensual non-monogamy (i.e. cheating). I'd suggest you talk to your wife and sort out the issues therein before being on here, and that you perhaps choose people within your age group.
Him: I appreciate your reply and honesty, and half expected both those responses.
All the best and am sure you will find what you want on here with more suitable folk :)
I'm glad that he was polite. I do not respect him because of the cheating and the obvious copypaste, but at least he's not one of those who begs for sex, then calls you a fat ugly whore when you say no (this has happened and I find it hilarious). Still, the fact that he calls himself "naughty" as a 31 year old man on a kink site is funny. So many people think they're so kinky and naughty, when their most daring fantasy is perhaps anal or outdoor sex. Good for them, you know, that's cool, but it's clear that they haven't been on FetLife long. You'd have to go far to shock someone on there! Anyway, enough creepers for now. The "hi" guy has just messaged me again. Oh dear!
I have just counted, and there are 14 "hi" messages from the past week. Dear god.
Anyway, on to the creepers. First, one aged 30 who I'd exchanged about 4 messages with two weeks or so prior to this.
Him: Add me on whatsapp. Im very busy and hardly ever get on here x (see my rant on strangers who use Xs if you haven't already)
Me: I don't have whatsapp- probably a good idea to ask in future. I don't add strangers anyway, especially those who put kisses on their messages. That creeps me out. If you want to talk on here that's fine but I'm not adding you anywhere else.
Him: oh dear... you sound annoying. Yes, probably best if we don't bother.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Please note that he was the one who originally messaged me and seemed interested. Ah well, I feel I'm not missing much!
Creeper #2: A 29 year old man who cannot spell to the level of a six year old.
Him: if ur partner had tied u to the bed, blindfolded u n put ur knickers in ur mouth then spent the afternoon doing watever they wanted to you n u wer hot n wet thn they wispered in ur ear now the ad i put up online has had so many replies soon the door bell will be ringin n then u will b entertaining whoever i let in ... wat wud u do? (does he seriously expect a positive response? I think I strained my eyes with the amount of time I spent staring at this message, willing it to form into words... Also, I think this might be called rape)
Me: Ask them not to omit vowels and punctuation?
Him: i guess thtd kill a fire
Me: No idea on that one. I don't do random role-plays with people I don't know, anyway.
Him: even in yur thinkin mind?
Me: How would I do a role-play in my mind? Surely that's just thinking?
Him: I suppose it is. It would not werk in reality as i already told u the whole thing.. or did i
Me: I'm guessing the rest is just about your little fantasy slave getting fucked by several men. From what I could decipher, that's where it was headed.
Him: It depends if any women answere the ad but i left it up to u
mayb it is just to see what wud happen
Me: The ad? I'm sorry, was your story meant to be an ad for something?
Him: fer yer pussy (I almost choked laughing here)
Me: Uh-huh. Well, mine responds to intelligence and well-thought-out messages, so I'm afraid yours failed.
He stopped making sense after this, if you can call this sense. He amused me.
Creeper #3: 31 year old married man, who was surprisingly polite in rejection. I do not respect cheaters, but it's none of my business. Usually these copypaste messagers are quite rude when rejected, but he was polite, so that's points to him. His message title was "a stunning attraction". I know it, babes.
Him: Hi, i am from the norwich area, have to say you have an amazing body and such an innocent look that it's so much more exciting to find out how naugty you can be! :)
i am 31 years old :( but look younger than i am....29 maybe? :)
i am a cheeky explorer but also very respectful!
i am also naughty, perhaps naughtier than you'd like...i am married....i know thats bad, my wife does not know about my naughty desires......would you be willing to chat and perhaps move things to a physical and fun nature?
i appreciate i don't have any pics on here, obviously it's due to the fact i shouldnt be on here according to my wife!
i've never messaged on here....lets see how this goes...lol
i will understand though if you'd rather i do one! lol (why do people think it's acceptable to put "lol" in lower case letters, and in real conversation? Teenager is not happy!)
Me: Sorry but you're outside of my age range and I don't agree with nonconsensual non-monogamy (i.e. cheating). I'd suggest you talk to your wife and sort out the issues therein before being on here, and that you perhaps choose people within your age group.
Him: I appreciate your reply and honesty, and half expected both those responses.
All the best and am sure you will find what you want on here with more suitable folk :)
I'm glad that he was polite. I do not respect him because of the cheating and the obvious copypaste, but at least he's not one of those who begs for sex, then calls you a fat ugly whore when you say no (this has happened and I find it hilarious). Still, the fact that he calls himself "naughty" as a 31 year old man on a kink site is funny. So many people think they're so kinky and naughty, when their most daring fantasy is perhaps anal or outdoor sex. Good for them, you know, that's cool, but it's clear that they haven't been on FetLife long. You'd have to go far to shock someone on there! Anyway, enough creepers for now. The "hi" guy has just messaged me again. Oh dear!
Sunday 4 May 2014
"Hello thingie"
I woke up to this message this morning, from a man who is 38 years old (literally twice my age), and who lives a few cities south of me. Note: I work in a store called Maplin, and the adverts refer to us as Maplineers. Not thingies.
Hello Mapliengeer thingy ;-) Fancy a chat?
Spelling is hard, right? Kind of wondering why the winky face is there, as well...
Aside from that, some genius has sent me "Hey". Like, what do I do with that? I replied "Hello." and have had no reply for several hours. I have just looked and apparently he's online- perhaps he realises that t here's not much you can say to that? Ah well- I have no real creepers to report, just these guys. I guess that's good!
Friday 25 April 2014
"Have sex with me?"
This one had messaged me a few times today. He had sent me some lyrics to a song I didn't know (Queen Victoria by Leonard Cohen), and then got snarky when I got confused and asked him to explain. I finally Googled it, then told him off for being snarky. This is the response I got. He has given up all pretence.
so is there any chance you will ever have sex with me based on internet being our first impression and that i find you sexually attractive plus I think one day we will both die but while we are alive we could do anything we liked and have as much fun as we wanted without anyone stopping us even if we would only spoilt it all with having little in common later wouldn't it be worth it
Um, how about no.
so is there any chance you will ever have sex with me based on internet being our first impression and that i find you sexually attractive plus I think one day we will both die but while we are alive we could do anything we liked and have as much fun as we wanted without anyone stopping us even if we would only spoilt it all with having little in common later wouldn't it be worth it
Um, how about no.
Wednesday 23 April 2014
This one is from a guy with no profile picture and nothing but the bare minimum on his profile (height, age, etc.)
Him: Hello how are you you in norwich cos if you are i am too if you want to meet up for chat *I don't know about you, but I almost ran out of breath reading that even in my head!*
Me: I don't meet with people I don't know. Also, protip: Grammar and punctuation are such turn-ons.
Him: Plseas meet up with me. Im geniine,chatty(shy at first) honest and romantic
Him: Are you in norwich?
Me: Have you read my profile at all? Sure you're all those things. I still don't meet with anyone I don't know, and I'm even less inclined when you beg and tell me you're "genuine". Surely genuineness is expected, not something that needs to be said?
Him: Im definatly genuine what you see is what you get i dont pretend to be something im not cos i hate people like that.
Me: Again, this is not something that should have to be stated, so I'm less inclined to believe anyone who feels the need to tell me. Anyway, what I see is someone with no photo and a worse grasp of grammar and punctuation than a six-year-old child, not even mentioning the begging to meet up.
Him: Hello how are you you in norwich cos if you are i am too if you want to meet up for chat *I don't know about you, but I almost ran out of breath reading that even in my head!*
Me: I don't meet with people I don't know. Also, protip: Grammar and punctuation are such turn-ons.
Him: Plseas meet up with me. Im geniine,chatty(shy at first) honest and romantic
Him: Are you in norwich?
Me: Have you read my profile at all? Sure you're all those things. I still don't meet with anyone I don't know, and I'm even less inclined when you beg and tell me you're "genuine". Surely genuineness is expected, not something that needs to be said?
Him: Im definatly genuine what you see is what you get i dont pretend to be something im not cos i hate people like that.
Me: Again, this is not something that should have to be stated, so I'm less inclined to believe anyone who feels the need to tell me. Anyway, what I see is someone with no photo and a worse grasp of grammar and punctuation than a six-year-old child, not even mentioning the begging to meet up.
I'll keep you updated.
Friday 21 March 2014
Dating by sister proxy
There's a guy I've been texting for a few days. Nothing serious- he seems nice but rather vapid, and I'm fairly uninterested. He's also one of those who puts "xx" on the end of everything, and if you've read this blog before, you'll know that I hate that from strangers. Anyway, it's been silent for a few days, and then he texted me while I was sitting looking at dresses online with my sister. She decided she would answer him- nothing weird, just answering his questions, saying I'm home with her and her Chihuahua. His response?
"There's something about you heather... Like a book... A book I'd like to read in fine detail..."
We sat and just laughed at that, I mean, what the hell? Considering we hadn't spoken in days and he knows fairly little about me, I'm wondering. Also, take half a second to capitalise my name, it's the done thing.
Straight after this was this gem:
"Aww no way :D I shall come steal Spartacus and you ;) hehe xxxx"
The extra Xs here are because my sister decided to put them on the end of her text to him, whereas I'd been stoically ignoring them. Also, he capitalised the dog's name. Humph.
Sister tried to reply but the signal here is nonexistent and it didn't send. Good.
"There's something about you heather... Like a book... A book I'd like to read in fine detail..."
We sat and just laughed at that, I mean, what the hell? Considering we hadn't spoken in days and he knows fairly little about me, I'm wondering. Also, take half a second to capitalise my name, it's the done thing.
Straight after this was this gem:
"Aww no way :D I shall come steal Spartacus and you ;) hehe xxxx"
The extra Xs here are because my sister decided to put them on the end of her text to him, whereas I'd been stoically ignoring them. Also, he capitalised the dog's name. Humph.
Sister tried to reply but the signal here is nonexistent and it didn't send. Good.
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